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Workin' 9 to 5 , What a Way to Have Your Period. . . by guest columnists Julie and Rachel of The Magical Pussy Health Collective 
It was not too long ago, just a few hundred years before western civilization hit the scene, that women revelled in this time of the month instead of dreading the day ahead. This time of the month was sacred and menstrual blood was thought to hold magical properties. Old Arabian words for "pure" and "impure" (like the Latin sacer applied to menstrual blood only. (See Barbara Walker's The Women's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets. San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1983 p 635-638.) When women were menstruating they were thought to possess more insight, intuition, and of course, supernatural powers. But unfortunately, Abrahamic religion stepped in and Sarah's wisdom got pushed aside. St. Jerome stated in the Bible—oh, we love to quote the Bible—that "nothing is so unclean than a woman in her periods. What she touches she causes to become unclean." As a result, for over three centuries, menstruating women were prohibited from the church. Unfortunately, these antiquated beliefs have rolled over into Western society. Marketing has a way of making you think of your period as a major hassle: You can have Serenity, Security, and Stay-Free Always , all while riding a horse, swimming, and balancing a 40-hour work week. Take it like a man, girl, cause now you've got "wings." And don't worry, you'll still be a virgin if you use a tampon. Say goodbye to all that. Your Fairy Godmother, Magical Pussy, has granted your menstrual powers back. Now here's how to deal with it like a modern woman: First, your menstrual cycle is not just those few days of cramps and uncomfortable pads. Menstruation is part of a physical, emotional, and spiritual cycle that should be honored by women (and men) every day of the month. How you treat yourself throughout the month affects the fluctuations of your menstruation. If you are drinking double espresso lattes every morning with your white sugar-white flour coffee cakes, you are more susceptible to the abysmal PMS. Pill popping of Motrin and Midol is not a long-term solution for PMS. There are several different holistic approaches to reducing or eliminating PMS symptoms—it's just a matter of trial and error and finding what's right for your body.
DIET/NUTRITION: Avoid salt, sugar, caffeine & processed foods (all the whiteys sugar, flour, bread). Eat foods high in potassium, calcium (not too much dairy), and vitamin A (leafy greens, whole grains, legumes, seaweed, bananas, dry fruit, melons). MASSAGE: Ask a friend or do it yourself. . . if it feels good go for it. You might want to research acupressure points particular for PMS symptoms and menstrual cramps. RELAXATION/ MEDITATION: Integrating a form of meditation or relaxing exercise into your daily life will improve your health and menstrual cycle. Send love energy to your womb. . . it will give it back. SLEEP: If you can take the day off—do it girl. Spend the whole day in bed if you want. See if a friend will come over and feed you breakfast in bed. If you cannot take the day off, don’t make any social plans for the evening. ORGASM: We highly recommend this one! Baby, it's better than chocolate, flowers, or sinsemilla. . . amour fou! Crazy Love! We will now make a shameless plug for our favorite vibrator (pun completely intended). Drum roll, please. . . The Hitachi Magic Wand!! Available locally from Railroad Video in Durham and globally from Good Vibrations in San Francisco. Ladies, start your engines because this is the answer to all your prayers. Yes you might be calling out to Jesus, but He won't take away your cramps—only Hitachi can do it! Put your trust in the wand.
EMOTIONAL/ MENTAL HEALTH: On a more serious note, if you are a woman like most women in the modern world, you may have a history with rape or sexual abuse. Even if you may not think about it, your body remembers. Try to hear it. Experiment with ways to heal yourself in this realm, either with emotion or body-centered therapies. Take care of yourself, you are the only you. HERBS: There are several herbal allies available to lend you a hand. Teas made from yarrow, chamomile, red raspberry leaf, nettle, and ginger can all be soothing. We have a long list of recommended reading. Please make reference to it. Or even better consult a local herbalist.
RECOMMENDED READING ANATOMY OF THE SPIRIT-The Seven Stages of Power and Healing by CAROLINE MYSSHOT PANTZ: DO IT YOURSELF GYNECOLOGY ("Hot Pantz" CP 871 Succ C, Montreal, Qc, H2L 4L6, Canada) WOMEN'S BODIES, WOMEN'S WISDOM by CHRISTINE NORTHRUP PRESCRIPTION FOR NUTRITIONAL HEALING by JAMES F. BALCH and PHYLLIS A. BALCH Anything by Susun Weed or Andrew Weil |