Beauty or Bust(ed) Girls: Carolina Woman tells it like it is
by Diane Wininger Bullock
Until very recently, I had been feeling very low, dispirited, and out of
control of my life. Within a period of 90 days, I managed to get laid-off
twicefrom two different companies. The first, while preparing to
close
out a year of probably record profits, "downsized," giving me two whole
days notice before my job was to be officially terminated. Then, one
Friday a new company that I was just about to start working for went
virtually bankrupt, resulting in mass firings. I was beginning to lose
hope.
I knew that I wasn't the only one out there who was down on their
luck. I am just one of the 90,000 North Carolina women that are out of
work. But things aren't even so auspicious for many of the 1.6 million
women who are currently employed in this state. Although 47% of the
workforce are women, they comprise as much as 66% of all minimum wage
positions and have an average yearly income of $10,700.
The meager status of women's wages, combined with the escalating
costs of housing, utilities, grocery items, transportation, health care
and all of the consumer goods and services, have encumbered women
throughout the state with a huge financial burden. Over 1 million women do
not have health coverage and due to large shortages in health
professionals across the state, many more are finding it nearly impossible
to get adequate maintenance and preventative care. 25 counties in North
Carolina do not have OB-GYN care. This is occurring at a time when North
Carolina's increase in breast cancer death rates is the greatest in the
nation and our infant mortality rate is equal to that of underdeveloped
nations.
Now let me clarifythese were the problems that I saw
plaguing
North Carolina's women. I am relieved to say that after being preoccupied
with such trifling inconveniences for so long, I've finally seen the
light. This week, just as I was approaching the bank to cash my last
paycheck, I discovered her! There she was, sitting right there in a bundle
on the street corner beaming at me with her bright and colorful cover, so
full of warmth and promise. Ladies, it was at that moment that I found our
beacon of hope, the latest issue of Carolina Woman.
Her bold title and description, "The Magazine for Women in the
Triangle" screamed, "Hey, this is for you! You're a Carolina woman who
lives in the Triangle! I want to address the issues that women like
yourself are dealing with."
As I began to leaf through it, I've got to tell you, it was like
instant clarity. All this time I had completely missed the boat! I felt
rather silly knowing that before I found Carolina Woman, I was worrying
needlessly about money and work and health care and stuff. I never
realized that I had it all wrong! It was actually so simple, I could
attain complete happiness and control of my life if I just changed my
physical appearance!
To be honest, I was pretty overwhelmed at first. I knew that I had
a long road ahead of me before I would satisfy their prescribed beauty
standard. I was probably 20 pounds overweight, had at least 15% too much
body fat, still used makeup from five years ago, and hadn't shaved in
months. Worst of all, I had no engagement ring!
Fortunately, because of the incredible resource of beauty tips,
products,and treatments that Carolina Woman supplied, I felt like I had a
strong support network and a feasible starting point. The ads and articles
were so encouraging! First they identified the problem for me that I was
overweight. Then they told me how overweight makes me feel. "Overweight
hurts. You feel the pain every time you look in the mirror. You can't
escape it. It's there for the world to see. Now you can do something real
and genuine about it." It was with this ad that I learned how through
hypnosis, I could effortlessly shed pounds while fixed in a trance state.
In an article comparing indoor fitness equipment, I learned that
$1,200 is the maximum I should spend on a motorized treadmill. Whew! I
thought they were going to say minimum! I also learned that prescription
appetite suppressants can make losing weight a lot easier! But Carolina
Woman also informed me that if I preferred to go the non-medication
route, I could join Weight Watchers and they'd even waive the registration
fee! See, it's all about choices.
In the column entitled LOOKS, Lisa Skolnik instructed me on how to
achieve the longest possible shelf-life for my makeup. Although cosmetic
companies forecast their products will last a mere two years (with the
exception of mascaras and liquid eyeliners), I learned that if I "hone my
powers of observation" in terms of product separation, flow, and
consistency, I can make my makeup last indefinitely! Carolina Woman has
clearly identified with our economic struggle by offering such penny
pinching strategies.
Finally, I learned that I needn't look any further than Durham to
find my "FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH"! At the Cosmetic Surgery Center on 1110 West
Main Street, I have nothing to lose by getting a free consultation on
laser resurfacing and liposuction. With the use of dramatic before and
after pictures, Raleigh Dermatology Associates showed me what a difference
a little tummy tuck could do for a gal with an unsightly bulge.
To give you an idea of just how devoutly emphatic Carolina Woman
is about helping us look better, I'll give you a categorical breakdown of
her column inches. Nearly one-third of the magazine is devoted to health,
beauty, diet, fitness, appearance, and plastic surgery. That's
approximately ten times the amount of space they rendered to Career.
Parenting was even less important as it received 2 1/2% of the total
magazine space which trailed even the Horoscope column. The Community
expose, highlighting the achievements of various women in our area
(boooring!), came in last place with a mere 1.6%. These priorities
established by Carolina Woman have really helped me to get my life on the
right track. I am eternally grateful for her infinite wisdom and
invaluable guidance!
Those of you who may think to yourselves, "How can I afford to
be a Carolina Woman on my salary?" I want you to entirely change your
attitude about beauty. But before you can do that I want you to gather up
all your so-called feminist empowerment magazines like Ms and Bust, and
throw them in the trashbetter yet, burn them! They're filled with
negative propaganda aimed at converting you into an angry victim. Have
you ever looked at some of the women in those magazines? They need to
spend a little more time at the gym and a little less time worrying about
some trailer park trash living in nowhereville, USA who's scraping
together her food stamps to pay for another bag of Cheetoswhich
she'll
need to build up the strength needed to stave off the gun-toting
pro-lifers on her way into the abortion clinic.
What you ladies need to realize is that making an investment in
your outward appearance is making an investment in your self-worth. It's
never just a nose job. . . a weight loss plan. . . a makeover . . . It's
unleashing
a whole new you that you never knew existed! I want you to look in the
mirror and scrutinize every inch of your body and ask yourself why you
have inhibited your potential for so long with that pear-shaped figure,
those stretch marks, and spider veins. How long will it take for you to
realize that you deserve just as much happiness as Kate Moss? Aren't you
worth that $500 a year membership to the gym, that $1200 treadmill, that
$5000 laser surgery? Can't you afford to love yourself?
I thought so. So join me and the countless other women who are
keeping the billion dollar beauty industry alive and well. You can start
by picking yourself up the May issue of Carolina Woman where you will
learn how to slim down in time to fit into that bikini for Summer! You go
girl!. . . and don't come back 'til you've got the ring!
Diane Wininger Bullock has finally reached her goal weight of 90
pounds.
Congrats and latest lipstick trends can be sent to dlwin@mindspring.com.
|