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This is the FAQ for MOO-bashes, specifically focusing on those held in the
eastern states of the United States. The editor is Peri (#86631), who urges
you to please contact em if you've any questions or comments.
Official LambdaMOO Bash FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) Sheet,
July 13, 1996, Version 2.00.
Author/Owner/Editor: Peri@LambdaMOO.
This document was conceived and written as a way to more readily and
uniformly inform inquirers about the nature and ways of the LambdaMOO
bashes, held from 1994 to the present, and hopefully to continue, semi-
regularly, throughout the LambdaMOO community.
THIS DOCUMENT IS IN PROGRESS AND SHOULD NOT BE USED FOR AUTHORITATIVE
KNOWLEDGE OR AUTHORITATIVE PUBLICATION. THIS DOCUMENT CONTAINS NOTES AND
UNVERIFIED INFORMATION. IF THERE IS SOME SUBJECT IN THIS DOCUMENT THAT YOU
KNOW IS FALSE, PLEASE CONTACT THE OWNER, AND PLEASE DO SO GENTLY. THINGS
NOTED AND RECORDED HERE WERE NOT DONE SO IN ANY SENSE OF MALICIOUSNESS OR
AUTHORITATIVE PRESENCE WHATSOEVER.
NOTE ABOUT GENDER PRONOUNS:
This FAQ author is, on LambdaMOO and to some extent in RL (Real Life), a
transgendered activist. As such, the author is preoccupied with the meaning
of gender in all aspects of the author's social life and others' as well.
The author uses the LambdaMOO gender, 'Spivak' to refer to the author's self
as well as to generic participants in the author's FAQ. The root pronouns
for the gender, 'Spivak', are as follows:
Spivak Feminine Masculine
Subjective: e she he
Objective: em her him
Possessive: eir her his
Other familiar pronouns can be extrapolated: 'emself', etc.
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
I. DEFINITIONS
1. What is a FAQ?
2. What are MOOs?
3. What's a MOOer?
4. {What is LambdaMOO?}
5. What is a LambdaMOO Bash?
6. What is RL?
7. What is VR?
8. What is safer sex? How is it different from safe sex?
II. HISTORY
1. When did Bashes start?
2. What Bashes have happened so far?
3. {What other bashlike parties happened in living memory?}
III. MORE INFORMATION
1. Where can I get more information (besides this FAQ)?
2. I don't live within walking/driving/flying/etc. distance of the next
bash. How can I attend bashes?
3. What other MOOing groups meet in RL (from LambdaMOO)?
4. What MOO objects keep track of bashes that are currently being planned?
5. How do I keep track of who's throwing bashes in the near or far future?
6. Assuming I have a LambdaMOO account, how do I join the 'bash channel'?
IV. CUSTOMS
1. What does "Don't freak the normals" mean?
2. Should I bring a camera? I heard there was some debate about
photography.
3. What's all this I hear about sex-parties and safer sex?
4. Who can I have sex with?
5. Can I bring weapons to a bash?
6. Will I get sex with gorgeous MOO women at bash just by showing up?
7. Should I bring my Scottish Bagpipe music CD and my Albanian Women's
chanting CD?
8. Can I bring my non-MOOing friends?
9. Besides party, what else do people do at bashes?
10. If I have a smaller than average penis, will I feel intimidated at
bash?
11. Am I expected to act like my character on the MOO? Do I have to come
'in character'?
12. How can I MOO from bash?
V. WHO ORIGINATED...
1. Flaming Depth Charge!
2. GDFON!
3. "Fuck you, fagboy!"
4. "Moons over My Hammy"
VI. {GAMES}
1. "Butt darts!"
2. {Asshole}
VII. ATTENDANCE MECHANICS
1. How do I make hotel reservations?
2. How do I get there?
3. Should I bring a sleeping bag?
4. How old do I need to be?
5. How much money should I bring?
6. Should I bring my own linens?
VIII. THEOLOGY
1. {Who are the Four Horsemen?}
2. {Who are the Bash Gods?}
Please note that changes from revision to revision are noted with {}
brackets.
Also please note that numbering system has changed (for ease-of-
maintenance). If you wish to comment on a particular section of the FAQ
please be sure to note the heading number (I, II, III, etc.) as well as the
number of the question (1, 2, 3, etc.) within the heading.
Questions and Answers:
I. DEFINITIONS
1. What is a FAQ?
FAQ stands for Frequently Asked Questions. FAQs are very popular for
frequently traveled newsgroups on USENET. They answer frequently asked
questions and serve as a good introduction for certain subcultures. FAQs
are usually constantly updated and edited by both the author/editor and the
community they describe.
2. What are MOOs?
MOO stands for 'MUD, Object Oriented'. MUD, in turn, stands for 'Multi-
User Dungeon' or 'Multi-User Dimension', depending on whom you talk to.
MUDs were traditionally (though not wholly) virtual text-based realities
where people played games like Dungeons and Dragons, fighting each other and
monsters, and running around looting everything in sight. MOOs were
traditionally (though again, not wholly) virtual text-based realities where
people built communities and societies and spent a lot of time chatting with
each other. MOO programming is object oriented, while MUD programming isn't
necessarily.
3. What's a MOOer?
A MOOer is a person who uses a MOO. A MOOer is only a cow if that cow
uses a MOO.
4. {What is LambdaMOO?}
LambdaMOO is one of the first-established MOOs (January, 1991), upon
which many of its successors are based. LambdaMOO is where many people
organize bashes to attend. There are many other MOOs, but this FAQ is about
LambdaMOO bashes. If by some odd chance you come upon this FAQ completely
out of context and you wonder how to get to LambdaMOO, point your telnet
client at {'lambda.moo.mud.org 8888'} [(for those of you who need URLs,
that's {telnet://lambda.moo.mud.org:8888/})] and you're there (assuming
it's not down).
LambdaMOO's current population is around 6500, but it's been known to get
as high as 8500.
5. What is a LambdaMOO Bash?
A bash is a party, and a LambdaMOO bash is a LambdaMOO party. Bashes are
held off-line, in RL (Real Life), and ideally without computers present in
any form (this FAQ author - Peri - commonly breaks that rule, bringing eir
laptop to eir own hotel room and geeking out from there in the morning while
everyone else is in a drunken stupor). Bashes are wild and noisy with many
old virtual friends meeting up with each other in RL for the first time.
Most of the time, at least one basher will get so drunk that e forgets where
e is and begin some kind of public display of affection, which can get
pretty lewd, depending on who's doing it. This is _one_ of the reasons
there's usually a lower limit on age of attendees to a bash.
Some of the criteria for defining a bash are: Bashes have more MOOers in
attendance than non-MOOers. Bashes are parties where everyone contributes
to the cost (usually the hosts front the costs and then charge attendees
some nominal fee for attending - hosts seek to break even, not make a
profit).
Bashes run very late into the night - bashers end up going to sleep
around 4 a.m. most bash nights except the last. Bashes usually get thrown
in hotels or in some MOOer's private residence. Bashes usually include
drinking games (like Mr. President and I Never...) and Truth or Dare --
Sometimes we also play Butt-Darts and Twister. And what is a bash without a
Flaming Depth Charge?
6. What is RL?
RL stands for 'Real Life' and refers to the fact that there is vast
disagreement between MOOers about the state of reality on a MOO. Some see
it as a game while others see it as a supplemental reality (with very
similar consequences and responsibilities to Real Life itself) to Real Life.
Regardless, most MOOers make a distinction between 'Virtual Reality'
(reality on a MOO) and Real Life. Real Life is the reality where non-MOO
things happen. If, on a MOO, you announce that you're 'idling: RL
intrusion', it means you're going to stay connected to the MOO but not
responsive because something's going on otherwise in the room you're in that
will be distracting you (like a phone call or a conversation with a co-
worker or housemate or something).
Also, please note that RL is carried out in what some of us refer to as
'the Big Room', i.e. outside, not generally in a room filled with computers
(like a lab) or a hovel with just the one computer you may like. Note,
finally, that most people who walk around in 'the Big Room' don't have
computers strapped to their bodies, putting even a smidgen of their
consciousness into the Internet while they do their daily errands. Face it
- you're a mutant, and it's up to you to find out how to live and exist in
normal society while you live your MOO life as well.
7. What is VR?
VR stands for 'Virtual Reality' and in MOO contexts usually refers to the
reality of the MOO itself. Sometimes MOOs are called text-based virtual
realities.
8. What is safer sex? How is it different from safe sex?
This FAQ's author was bred into safer sex by the queer activists, and the
queer safer sex activists. These hard-core safer sex people generally
called any kind of protected sex 'safer sex' because they recognized any
kind of intimate sexual contact as inherently risky, so therefore not
completely 'safe'. 'Safer' refers to the fact that it's safer than
unprotected sex. But it defers to the fact that abstinence is truly 'safe'.
II. HISTORY
1. When did Bashes start?
It's hard to tell exactly when this string of LambdaMOO bashes started,
but best estimates place the first bash at Cincinnati in September 28th,
1994. Of the recent spate of bashes, this was the first where mostly MOOers
came to bash in a hotel suite and the host broke or nearly broke even.
2. What Bashes have happened so far?
Bashes are defined as: Publicly announced gatherings of MOOers, usually more
than 10 attendees.
St. Louis - June 11-13, 1993 - 15 attendees - Host: Wholeflaffer.
Rockville, MD (DC NYE 1994-1995) - December 30, 1994-January 1,
1995 - MOO Year's Eve - ~30 attendees - Host: Jip.
Cleveland, OH - March 10-12, 1995 - 25-30 attendees - Hosts: crayon
and Gilmore.
Rockville, CT (TWISTbash I) - May 5-7, 1995 - ? attendees - Host:
TWIST.
Chicago - May 26-29, 1995 - Memorial Day Weekend - 10 attendees -
Host: Jason
Rockville, MD (DC Independence Bash) - July 28-30, 1995 - ~40
attendees - Hosts: V.Dentata and Amazon_Bitch.
Chapel Hill, NC (NC Bash) - September 1-4, 1995 - 27-32 attendees -
Hosts: Charlotte_Sometimes and MichaelG.
Rockville, CT (Halloween TWISTbash) - October 20-22, 1995 - ?
attendees - Host: TWIST.
Cleveland, OH (Turkeybash) - November 24-26, 1995 - ~20 attendees -
Host: Calico.
Rockville, MD (DC NYE 1995-1996) - December 29-January 1 - ~60
attendees - Hosts: V.Dentata and Chapman.
{Need to add the most recent.}
3. {What other bashlike parties happened in living memory?}
{In mid-late '92, in June or July, there was a gathering in Boulder
including a dozen MOOers and a few MUDders for an evening of drinking, pizza
and conversation. They called at a "bash".
For a while later, Fort Collins and Boulder college students held regular
get-togethers among MOOers.
Eventually the Colorado MOOers decided they had enough cohesion that they
called themselves an official group and started *colorad-MOO to help them
track what was going on.
By that time, people in other areas had started having get-togethers.
This was the first time these things were called "MOO bashes", but people
were getting together before this, going back to the dawn of MOOtime when
yduJ and the gang used to get together.
-- Paraphrased from the narrative of a MOOer who shall not be named.
[NOTE: Peri will be happy to include more such narratives if they come
eir way.]}
III. MORE INFORMATION
1. Where can I get more information (besides this FAQ)?
You can get more information on LambdaMOO and MOOing in general from:
LambdaMOO Itself:
http://vesta.physics.ucla.edu/~smolin/lambda/
ftp://parcftp.xerox.com/pub/MOO
http://lydia.bradley.edu/las/soc/syl/391/papers/rape_cyb.html
http://www.hotwired.com/wired/2.03/features/muds.html
http://lucien.berkeley.edu/MOO/quick-reference.txt
Bash Pictures:
http://techno.king.net/~amy/moobash
http://sunsite.unc.edu/michael/moobash/
MOOing Info:
http://techno.king.net/~amy/moo.html
http://www.vv.com/common/mud/mud_types.html#MOO
http://www.ccs.neu.edu/home/fox/moo/moofaq.html
http://sunsite.unc.edu/kelly/moo.html
These references should get you started. If you need more, use your
favorite browser on the web or other Internet based resource and do a search
on LambdaMOO or MOO.
2. I don't live within walking/driving/flying/etc. distance of the next
bash. How can I attend bashes?
If you don't live within walking/driving/flying/etc. distance, you're
essentially hosed. After all what other way is there to the next bash. Oh
yes, of course! You hop on down to your local Radio Shack and have them
order the latest MBTB (MOO-Bash Transporto Beam) for you. Shouldn't be more
than $99.95 if you get a good sale.
Actually, you can also try to share the cost of driving (the most popular
method so far of attending bashes) with one or more people (assuming they
all fit in whatever vehicle you're planning to take). You can also offer to
drive part of the way, feed the driver french-fries, or whatever turns out
to work for you. Just please make plans responsibly and live up to whatever
you've offered to do.
Advice from a contributor: "Cajole, flatter, and bribe your way into a
ride with a local MOOer who is also attending. Expect to pay your fair share
of gasoline expenses." (See also Section VI, Question 2.)
3. What other MOOing groups meet in RL (from LambdaMOO)?
If you find other people around you (more common if you live near a big
city), you can probably have RL friendships with them. Mini-bashes are also
fairly common, especially in the DC area; these are sometimes impromptu
parties for people in the area.
Also, if you're a MOOer from the West Coast, try reading *BAM (Bay Area
MOOers) - there are some memorable get-togethers in living memory that the
BAMers set up.
4. What MOO objects keep track of bashes that are currently being planned?
Beyond the mailing lists, *MOO-bash and *bash-announce, bash hosts
commonly use $notes that they own to keep track of directions and hotel
information, as well as using the Generic Invitation with RSVP (#52225) to
keep track of potential attendees. If you keep up with the bash mailing
lists, you will periodically see organizational announcements and updates
for upcoming bashes, as well as for proposed bashes that don't yet have
hosts.
5. How do I keep track of who's throwing bashes in the near or far future?
For now, your best bet is to read and keep up with *bash-announce and
*MOO-bash. At this time, *MOO-bash is more commonly used, but this FAQ
editor is doing eir utmost to make sure that organizational announcements
either get posted to or echoed to *bash-announce as well.
Bash hosts and organizers usually post to these two lists to drum up
publicity and support for their pursuits, as well as to garner important
criticism about their organizational efforts.
6. Assuming I have a LambdaMOO account, how do I join the 'bash channel'?
You need to have the Multi-communications feature (#25552), so first make
sure you have that. If you don't, type '@add-feature #25552' to add that
feature to your list of feature objects. Next, type '@xswitch bash' to join
the bash channel. To get a complete list of commands for the Multi-
communications feature, type 'help #25552'.
IV. CUSTOMS
1. What does "Don't freak the normals" mean?
We stole this slogan from a small faq for another kind of event, but it
holds here just as well. As a basher, long- or short-term, you will find
that your partying customs do not follow the norms of behavior, sleeping
patterns, loudness, etc. for those who are within one city block of you,
whether you are bashing in the deep farmlands of Kansas, a hotel, or in
someone's home. It's prudent for you to avoid 'freaking the normals' so
that you can continue bashing unhindered and unharassed.
Bashes have encountered police before (Cleveland Turkeybash), and please
take our word for it - it isn't fun. It isn't bashable. It tends to dampen
the celebratory mood quite a bit. Freaking the normals and attracting
police attention is an extraordinarily bad idea. Your fellow bashers will
not celebrate your presence if you attract police attention to their
activities.
Please also do not take this as an announcement of illegal activities at
a bash. Bash hosts are extremely careful to make sure that underage
drinking is not going on, and that other illegal activities are not going on
(they have a personal stake in it - if the law comes in, they will be
prosecuted for hosting such activities). Don't come to the bash thinking
that you can do anything you want as long as you don't get caught. Again,
be careful, don't freak the normals, don't get the police over to the bash,
and do not come thinking that it's a den of iniquity, filled with outlaws
where your illegal activities will be welcome - because they won't be.
If you have any further questions, PLEASE CONSULT YOUR BASH HOST.
2. Should I bring a camera? I heard there was some debate about
photography.
As should be obvious by now, two common themes for bashes in this FAQ
are:
1) If you're not sure about what to do at a particular upcoming bash, or if
you're not sure about what to do while at a current bash, ASK A HOST
and
2) If you're not sure that you have someone's permission before doing
something that might matter to them, ASK THEM FOR PERMISSION BEFORE
PROCEEDING.
These two guidelines carry nicely over to the question of whether or not
photography is acceptable at a bash and whether or not you should publish
these photos after you have them - on the World Wide Web (WWW) or elsewhere.
Problems have arisen over whether or not bash rooms are 'public rooms' and
whether or not activities in such 'public rooms' are 'public domain. Some
arguments say that because bash rooms are 'public', it's okay to take
pictures and web them without asking. Other people say that they should
have and will take steps to assure that they have full control over who
takes pictures of them and who sees the pictures afterwards.
The best way to avoid problems with your hosts and the other bashers is
to make very sure that it's cool to take the pictures you want to take
before you take them, and to be very sure that you have a person's
permission before showing these pictures to other people, including
publishing them on the web.
Obviously, bash hosts are there not to be a police force but to have fun,
so they're not going to be interested in resolving disputes you're involved
in, especially when problems are easily avoided by taking care to have
permission first. It would also be a good idea to be willing to take down
pictures you might have put on the web if the people concerned with them
change their minds about publicity in the future.
If you choose to flout these guidelines, be sure you know you are doing
so at your own risk - experience has proven that people have deeply
important arguments for wanting to have control over the taking and
distribution of photos of their activities, and irritating them can cause
very deep rifts between people involved.
3. What's all this I hear about sex-parties and safer sex?
From V.Dentata (12/27/95): "...If you've never been to a BASH before,
please be aware that it is NOT, I repeat, NOT a sex party, orgy, free-for-
all free-love poke-whoever's-lying-there kinda thing. It is a social
gathering at which some people who happen to be lovers or whatever go off to
do PRIVATE things. Don't come to bash if you're coming to get laid (unless
the object of your affections already knows and agrees you're gonna get
laid, or might be persuaded). Hey, you might get lucky, but it is
definitely NOT a given. Don't touch, hug, or kiss people you don't know
without asking them first. New bashers are often confused by the fact that
other bashers may touch each other rather freely, but this is based on
months of partying and MOOing together. As a new basher you may not have
permission to contact others in the same way. The only way to know is to
ask, and adhere to the wishes of that person. In sum, if you're showing up
because you think this is a sex party, DON'T ATTEND. I wouldn't want you to
be disappointed. Yours, V."
Many MOO-bash hosts supply safer sex materials because there can be a lot
of sex and intimacy, especially between long-time bashers, and especially if
there's drunkenness too, it just seems better to have a surplus of condoms
and dams about, in case of emergencies. Just think of condoms as party
favors.
4. Who can I have sex with?
Again, come prepared - know who you like and who's coming, and you may
well also want to talk with those people before you show up to bash. ASK
PERMISSION before doing anything like touching or kissing, ESPECIALLY IF YOU
AREN'T SURE IT'S ALL RIGHT.
5. Can I bring weapons to a bash?
NO. DEFINITELY NOT. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS, ASK THE BASH HOST(S) FOR
THE BASH YOU ARE PLANNING ON ATTENDING. Please don't assume that what you
think will be all right is all right for the host(s). These people are busy
people who are volunteering time and money for your enjoyment - please
respect that and make their lives a little easier.
6. Will I get sex with gorgeous MOO women at bash just by showing up?
No. You need to make sure the sex you're expecting the sex they're
expecting too. Don't come to a bash all invested in getting sex without
being sure of the people you're expecting to get it from.
There are people who come to the bash expecting to make out with one
another, but that's consensual and pre-planned. Bashes are not harems - the
people who attend have their own plans for having fun that may well not
include you unless they specifically tell you so.
7. Should I bring my Scottish Bagpipe music CD and my Albanian Women's
chanting CD?
Bring all the music you like. If you manage to slip your CD into the
player (assuming there is one), be prepared to fight off angry bashers if
your music is not to their taste. Bashers so far like techno, dance and
rock. There is occasionally Dream Theater, but that usually results in a
pitched battle over CD player control.
8. Can I bring my non-MOOing friends?
ASK YOUR BASH HOST FIRST. Bashes are usually only open to all MOOers for
attendance. Most hosts are interested in you RSVPing for yourself if you're
planning on attending. If you want to bring a non-MOOing friend, you'll
want to RSVP and ask special permission from the host. If you can
anticipate the need to invite your friend, please do so, and please ask your
host before you commit to being able to bring your friend. Hosts understand
when your non-MOOing friend is the only person you can get a ride from, but
they also need to know who you're bringing both for counting up the number
of people they're expecting and also so that they can know to come to you if
there's any problem with your friend.
9. Besides party, what else do people do at bashes?
In the mornings (afternoons) when everyone is finally awake, there's
usually some kind of day trip planned.
10. If I have a smaller than average penis, will I feel intimidated at bash?
Yes. You will feel intimidated, then we will string you up naked and
sever your genitalia.
Ha ha! Just kidding. Bashes are not all about sex, and they certainly
aren't about dick-size contests. Since sex is something you'll have to
negotiate with whoever your intended might be, it's an issue between you,
em, and the proverbial lamp-post.
11. Am I expected to act like my character on the MOO? Do I have to come 'in
character'?
Many of us create different personas for the MOO. Some behave on MOO the
same way they do IRL. With some exceptions, we're all human. Scientists
are still trying to figure out what some attendees are. Behaving as you
would on the MOO while at bash is entirely up to you as long as you don't do
anything to someone without getting their permission first.
Whatever (nonviolent) personality has decided to possess your body that
day is fine. Other bashers that have never met you before won't know the
difference. Bashes are not generally considered role-playing events,
however.
Be advised that bashers more often address and remember each other by
their MOO names than their RL names. Bashers may regard you with some
suspicion if you refuse to identify yourself with a particular MOO
character.
12. How can I MOO from bash?
"Don't. MOOing while at a bash is generally discouraged, since it goes
against the whole idea of coming to a bash -- socializing RL with other
MOOers. However, if you feel the need to check your mail occasionally, the
host will often provide a terminal from which this can be done. Bringing a
laptop and calling out from the bash location would probably be okay ONLY if
you were calling a number local to the bash." - Gilmore
"The ability to MOO from a bash is dependent upon a couple of things. 1)
Is there a computer handy. As we've seen from TWISTbashes, his computer is
set up and occasionally available. Also, if you have a laptop with modem
handy, you could MOO from a hotel based bash. The other thing to consider
. 2) You're a fucking geek. Don't MOO from a bash." - MutantNemesis
"I MOO from bash all the time - what's the fucking problem?" - Peri
"Get your own hotel room, bring your own laptop, and indulge in your
solitary activity to your heart's content." -- Black_Widow
V. WHO ORIGINATED...
1. Flaming Depth Charge!
A flaming depth charge (or FDC) is a mixed drink, prepared and drunk in
the following fashion:
A: Fill a mug/glass/cup with beer
B: Fill a shot glass with amaretto, and top it with 151 rum
C: Hold the shot in one hand and the beer in the other
D: Have your bartender light the shot with a Bic or other flame producing
device
E: Count to three, drop the shot (including the glass, idiot!) into the
beer, and SLAM IT
This was introduced into Bash culture by Jason. Current champion
slamming times hover in the three-to-four-second region (TWIST, Gilmore,
Vida_Blue, others). Beating or matching these times calls for a loud round
of applause by the other bashers.
Currently, the most interesting reinterpretation of FDC ingestion goes to
Black_Widow who managed to ignite herself at DC NYE 1995-1996 bash.
2. GDFON!
It stands for "God damn freak of nature". If you come to a bash, you are
probably one of these. This phrase was originated by Gilmore.
3. "Fuck you, fagboy!"
The catch-phrase of a most annoying non-MOOer guest at the second
Cleveland bash (Turkeybash).
4. "Moons over My Hammy"
A disgusting dish prepared at Denny's. First popularized as morning-
after fare by Amazon_Bitch during the traditional Saturday morning Denny's
run.
{Actually, the dish doesn't look half bad if you're hungry. -- Peri}
VI. {GAMES}
1. "Butt darts!"
Butt darts is a game probably originated by Cognac at the first 1995
TWISTbash. It involves gripping a quarter between one's (usually clothed)
buttocks and attempting to drop it into another person's mouth. This may or
may not become a drinking game.
2. {Asshole}
{Asshole is a playing cards drinking game played at almost every bash of
note.
All players must come to the table with a drink (or other appropriate
intoxication method).
A first hand is played to determine the rank of players thereafter.
Ranks go from lowest to highest - Asshole, Vice Asshole, various members of
the board, Vice President, President. Anyone with a higher rank can tell
anyone with a lower rank what to do, including taking a drink for any reason
whatsoever (but be careful about being powerhungry and abusive - if someone
higher than you thinks you're being cruel, e can punish you for it, if e
wants).
Basic rules:
An entire deck of cards (52) is dealt out to all the players.
Play begins with the President leading a card. Players thereafter must
play a card with equal or higher face value, or if they cannot play, they
must take a drink. If a player plays a card of equal face value to the
previous card, the player who would normally play afterwards is skipped, and
must taked a drink. When play is passed entirely around the table, or a 2
is played, the 'trick' is swept (sweeping away finished 'tricks' is usually
the Asshole's job), and play begins again, with the last player to play a
card beginning the new 'trick' (leading).
Card face value is intuitive, except that a card with a face value of 2
is the highest rank, and sweeps even tricks played with pairs, triples or
four of a kind.
The variation of Asshole most played at bashes insists that no pair may
be played without pairs being lead. Similarly, triples must be played only
in tricks where triples were lead, and four of a kind as well. For example,
if a player wished to play triple 8's, e would have to wait until some other
player lead a triplet of lower ranking than 8.
When a player is down to eir last card, e must declare it. When a player
plays all of eir cards, the order in which e went out (relative to the other
players) determines eir rank for the next hand. The first one out of cards
is the President, the second the Vice President, and the last player left
with cards is the Asshole.
Play may be interrupted at any time by the President (or any player with
ranking higher than Asshole) when e calls a Board Meeting. When a Board
Meeting is called, all players lower than the caller must begin drinking.
Each player may stop drinking only when all eir higher-ranked players have
stopped. Thus, usually, the caller stops drinking, then the player one
lower may continue the meeting with all the subordinates. The Asshole can
quickly get enormously drunk (lose) if there are too many board meetings,
because e can only stop drinking when everyone else has.
In some variations of Asshole (sometimes played at Bash), a player who's
been President three times in a row may make a new rule. Samples of rules
from past Asshole games are: "Anyone using the word 'drink' must take a
drink.", "Anyone who says 'the' must take a drink.", "At the beginning of
every hand, each player must make an original toast to the President."
Cheating, in Asshole, while not officially sanctioned, is easy for
players, especially higher-ranked players, to get away with. Some Bash
Asshole players have been known to collaborate with other players in order
to ensure their continued high-rankings. Some Presidents have been known to
cheat openly, and punish complaining subordinates with orders to drink.
This game can quickly get you drunk off your ass.}
VII. ATTENDANCE MECHANICS
1. How do I make hotel reservations?
Often the host(s) of the party will assist you in making reservations.
If the bash is at a hotel then the hosts will probably be trying to book
rooms at that hotel. If a host can reserve a large enough bank of rooms in
a hotel, the room costs for the group usually drop significantly. If it's
at a MOOer's house/apt., then hosts usually give out information about what
hotels are available, with phone numbers/addresses. Sometimes, even in this
case, hosts will handle the reservations.
It's best to ask your host(s) before making reservations. You can also
follow the chatter on *MOO-bash or the announcements on *bash-announce.
Also please note that hotel reservations generally require a credit card,
which should be your own. Hosts can sometimes make exceptions to this, but
don't assume they can - ASK.
FINALLY, PLEASE BE CAREFUL NOT TO FREAK THE NORMALS - IF YOU KNOW THAT A
HOST IS MAKING RESERVATIONS, PLEASE DO NOT CALL THE RESERVATIONS DESK
YOURSELF ASKING WHERE THE 'ASS KICKING GOAT-SHAVING AND SATANIC WORSHIP
INTERNET MOO PARTY' IS TO BE HELD AND HOW TO MAKE RESERVATIONS. IF YOU MUST
MAKE YOUR OWN INQUIRIES, _****_ MAKE THEM DISCREETLY.
2. How do I get there?
Transportation is up to you. Flyers can usually talk someone into
picking them up at the airport. Hosts usually publish directions on
*MOObash and *bash-announce for a variety of different approaching
directions. Hosts have also been known to arrange for rides to and from
airports and to give directions for using local public transportation as
well.
Again, your best bet is to ask the host(s) about what arrangements are
already available, and if those don't meet your requirements, start working
on some that do. (See also Section III, Question 2.)
3. Should I bring a sleeping bag?
If you plan to sleep in the bash rooms, bringing a sleeping bag would be
a most excellent idea. The beds are usually hotly contested items,
generally going to whoever crashes first. Crashing on a bed and attempting
to sleep while partying is still in progress will probably not be very
successful.
Also, if the bash is at a hotel, or if you're staying over at a hotel
during bash, note that hosts often make arrangements with the local hotels
in order to make it 'okay' for hotel room purchasers to share a room that
doesn't have enough beds for the people stuffed in there. This would be a
perfect opportunity to bring a sleeping bag or two and cram some extra
people in your room - which tends to make hotels more economical.
4. How old do I need to be?
This is dependent on the host's ethics and/or caution level, but
generally 18 is the minimum cutoff age, sometimes 21. If you are under
either of these ages, it is suggested you discuss your attendance with the
host of the bash you plan to attend.
5. How much money should I bring?
How much do you want to spend? Obviously you want to bring enough for
your room (which you'd have an idea of ahead of time) and food. Restaurants
destroyed by MOOers are usually inexpensive places like Denny's, Perkins and
Bob Evans. Being able to contribute the liquor fund is usually appreciated
and being able to buy/bring your own is even better.
6. Should I bring my own linens?
See 'Section VI, Question 3: Should I bring a sleeping bag?', but yes,
especially at bashes thrown at houses, _especially_ when you're planning to
crash there, bringing extra linens and pillows is an extraordinarily _good_
idea. If you've got surplus, and a convenient way to get it to bash, you
might even give some thought to asking the Host(s) if e/they would like you
to bring more than you'll need, personally.
VIII. THEOLOGY
1. {Who are the Four Horsemen?}
{The original Four Horsemen of Bash are TWIST, Gilmore, Corpse and
Firesign (though there are rumored to be other viable incarnations of the
Horsemen - and there are often stand-in Horsemen if the originals are not
available).
The Horsemen are so named because of their amazing abilities to keep
order and happiness among bashers. They function as extraordinarily good
bouncers, as legendary measures of others' intoxication tolerance abilities,
and are one of the best and most true measures of how good you can expect a
bash to be. According to Corpse, one of the aforementioned Four Horsemen,
it's possible to gauge how good a Bash will be simply by knowing how many
Horsemen will be in attendance. Any 'real bash' will have at least one
Horseman present. Any core basher must attend any bash which all Four
Horsemen plan to attend, or be ready for ridicule and inquest about eir
absence.
If the One True God allowed iconic worship, we'd have little figurines of
the Four Horsemen all over the world.}
2. {Who are the Bash Gods?}
{At a recent TWISTBash, this subject came under discussion at Bugaboo
Creek, a Restaurant that shall remain famous for the talking tree, moose and
fish, as well as for their surly wait-staff. V.Dentata, Gilmore and TWIST
made up the original trinity, but others, like Cognac, have been suggested
as well. There is some speculation about whether Bash Gods will fill out
our theology and add complexity and subtlety to the art of figuring out how
'good' a bash will be by measuring its RSVP list.}
Contributors: Vida_Blue, Gilmore, V.Dentata, Black_Widow, crayon, hopita,
MichaelG, Charlotte_Sometimes, MutantNemesis, Linnea, Lizard, Brack, Puff,
Dagard
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