Stupid Slow Drivers

by Andre Lafleur
June 7, 1996

I was driving on 279 into Pittsburgh... on a notoriusly slow part coming down Green Tree Hill... where right before a tunnel 4 lanes have to merge into 2. Yeah. Smart design, Mr. Cheap-ass Penndot who won't pay to widen the tunnel to maybe 3 lanes... once you get out of the tunnel it goes back to 4 again!! well anyhow I was fighting the usual bumper-to-bumper traffic when this huge fucking gas truck merged right in front of me with no warning at all. It had to be going only 20 miles an hour -- once you get into the tunnel everyone goes at LEAST 55- and then it sort of sat its fat ass into both lanes because it was too wide to fit into just one lane!! And gas trucks aren't even supposed to go through tunnels, the bastard. Well I was now 30 minutes late, and I finally got out of the tunnel and shot past that truck like there was no tomorrow Then I rear-ended a slow Chevy Corsica, driven of course by an old, cranky lady (who else would drive that kind of car!) So the bitch makes me exchange insurance and all that shit, and there was no damage at all to her car... it was MY bumper that got bashed! God, what an awful commute! (yep) I am happy to say that I am now working the suburban branch office and no longer go that way!!

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